That awkward moment when
you’re super tired but when you try to go to sleep, you end up wide awake -.-
Day 7- A Moment
Since @stephdesu, @milesray, and I were reminiscing today, my moment will be this one. It was when for the first and only time in school history, the Sound of Liberty Marching Band was able to perform at a finals show. I was a freshman and this was way back in November 2008. We earned our way into finals and became the smallest band competing. We beat out two bigger bands and scored in the 70s. It was our first competition where we performed at night. It may sound geeky and weird, but this will always be one of the best high school memories of mine. It gave me a reason to be proud of the band I was in. A “small but mighty” band. Watching this video after all these years still gives me chills. I have only one year of marching band left. I want to taste victory just once more.
So…..
My dad Is making me move to my mom’s house permanently. I should be hurt about it but, the idea of not having to deal with anymore shit from him overcomes that hurt by a LONG shot.
The more things change, the more they stay the same. I’m not sure who the first person was who said that. Probably Shakespeare. Or maybe Sting. But at the moment, it’s the sentence that best explains my tragic flaw, my inability to change. I don’t think I’m alone in this. The more I get to know other people, the more I realize it’s kind of everyone’s flaw. Staying exactly the same for as long as possible, standing perfectly still… It feels safer somehow. And if you are suffering, at least the pain is familiar. Because if you took that leap of faith, went outside the box, did something unexpected… Who knows what other pain might be out there, waiting for you. Chances are it could be even worse. So you maintain the status quo. Choose the road already traveled and it doesn’t seem that bad. Not as far as flaws go. You’re not a drug addict. You’re not killing anyone… Except maybe yourself a little. When we finally do change, I don’t think it happens like an earthquake or an explosion, where all of a sudden we’re like this different person. I think it’s smaller than that. The kind of thing most people wouldn’t even notice unless they looked at us really close. Which, thank God, they never do. But you notice it. Inside you that change feels like a world of difference. And you hope this is it. This is the person you get to be forever… that you’ll never have to change again.
“
| — | Everwood (via shananas) |
Today
Was one of the most interesting days in a long time. First in band, we were dropped with Allstate auditions in a few hours. I completely freaked out on the inside o.o And then by some lucky coincidence, I was encouraged by Micaela to try out track intermuals and It made me realize how out of shape I am and now I finally have the support to get some exercise! I’ve been thinking about getting some exercise many times before, but i never got around to it xD. I’m really glad you asked me to come with you <3 And after the intermurals, Allstate auditions went pretty well for only having about 6 hours to prepare xD I hope that we do good and make it to Allstate! =) I wish I could have more days like this, it really makes me happy =D
I’ve never been in something real before, well a normal real that is. And I’m confused on what to do, but my feelings for you are still true! I just need someone to guide me through, and I’d like that someone to be you <3
Christmas and New Years
This Christmas was pretty good for me this year. I got plenty of new clothes, a webcam, and plenty of Reese’s! But the one thing that bugged me was that the feeling of Christmas didn’t come this year. Not one bit of Christmas jolly came to me, and that really saddened me at the end of the day. The entire day just felt like an ordinary day except with a random tree in the living room with presents under it to open. And having to put on fake smiles because i didnt truly feel happy that it was Christmas just is depressing. I remember that grand feeling in the morning when my brother and mom would just bust into my room, my brother jumping on me to get me up and downstairs so we could open presents. And i’d feel so excited to get up early and to see presents all over. But that feeling has died out and i really miss it dearly…..
Also New Years is coming up and im just staring at the calendar waiting for this damn year to go away. It’s probably been the worst year so far and i dont want anymore of it. Too many more bad things than good things. Sure there were some good things that happened this year, dont get me wrong, but this year was so off. Holidays never felt like they were ever here, its been hell with the second half of the year especially with band and all of its shitty moments. And other things that have slowly eaten away at me as the days go on. I hope 2011 fixes all the problems 2010 has caused.
